Hi, hello, and welcome to the second issue of S.O.M.E. Newsletter! Thank you all for the generous “open rate” (% of ppl who get the email and actually don’t go ahead and delete it) on the first issue. I’m blushing!
This week’s contributor is my friend and yours, Clark Carousel AKA Claire Carusillo. Claire and I are both products of the urban/suburban midwest (meaning we are from Illinois and Wisconsin, respectively, but not the parts w/ cows) but we didn’t meet til approx. 2015 in the Big Apple when we worked at the same place. Claire quit first, I quit second, we went to the (deeply spooky) Adirondacks, I moved to LA, Claire visited LA, Claire moved to a functionally abandoned l*xury ski resort in Utah, me and Tiffany visited summer 2019 and—not a lot of ppl know this—we three actually invented TikTok on that trip.
Today, Claire and I are both frustrated “writers” wondering if we could have made some different choices ha ha ha heh but now we have Substack newsletters. Hers is called That Wet Look and it does cost money but all the money goes to worthy organizations like the Black Midwifery Student Fund. Check it out here.
And, now, Claire’s thingies others may enjoy.
LASIK eye surgery
“I am writing this with my screen zoomed SOOO big because I got LASIK. I've been wearing glasses since I was 6 and contacts since I was 9, so this is a pretty big development. I think I'll save the gory bits for my own newsletter because this is supposed to foster a gentle environment, but we're about 50 hours out and my life is forever changed. Obviously, three hours before I got the surgery I decided I looked beautiful in glasses and I was ruining my life. I don't miss them, though, truthfully.
Mom paid.”
‘PEN15’ Season 2
“I have a hunch that people who haven't seen PEN15 think that its comedy lies in nostalgia about AOL and rolly backpacks. But that's just the setting! It's the most dead ass serious portrayal of women I've ever seen in my life.
I've only watched one episode of the new season because my eyes got tired, but our heroines Maya and Anna get accused of being sluts because a guy touched their boobs at the same time during last year's finale. And I could even tell in this one episode, they're different. Maya and Anna's experience often mirror my own, but I never got accused of being a slut, even when I wanted to be. I didn't kiss anyone til I was 19. That isn't the point!
It's an absolute art to see two thirty-two-year-olds playing themselves as thirteen-year-olds and being able to show their characters growing from one season to the next.”
Ask Ronna (and Bryan)
“I think I'd be betraying the conceit of the podcast to tell you who and what this really is, so I'll tell you about this excellent advice podcast only on the merit of quality: Ronna is a woman of exceptional taste who lives in Marblehead, MA and Bryan, her cohost, is a Hollywood type who's been spending his quarantine in her coach house. Ronna and Bryan give advice. Ronna is always spot on, and Bryan is a total wacko. Ronna claims he has a cartoon bird that sits on his shoulder that compels him to act the way he does.
Just as PEN15 is not really about nostalgia for 2000, Ask Ronna is not really about a woman with a Boston accent.”
‘A Children’s Bible’ by Lydia Millet, $17
“Best book I've ever read. Every other book can go die.”
Xouxou Phone Sling, $69
“It's for dorks, obviously, but I live a famously go go go lifestyle. Instagram sold me this. I haven't had time to watch ‘The Social Dilemma’ yet (MY EYES!!!!!!!).”
Keds Vintage Champion D'Orsay Canvas Sneaker, $40
“I ordered two pairs of this style at once because I knew I'd love them. I wear them all the time. Julia told me my feet smelled bad yesterday, though.”
Pilot FriXion Colors Erasable Marker, $1.75
“I've been in Chicago and my all-time favorite stationery and pen/pencil store Greer has been closed because of COVID. I went to Top Drawer as paltry consolation and got these pens. I don't have a particular affinity toward felt tips even, but I'm marveling at the technology. Erasable felt tips? Get out! Although now as I type this graf, I'm realizing that I've been familiar with erasable marker technology for quite some time now. It's fourth grade stuff.”
Front Facing Instagram Updates
“I think I'm addicted to looking at my own face. But who am I even hurting? It's not like I'm doing comedy videos. I'm just updating my 11 friends who care on tiny anecdotes throughout the day. Sometimes I get a thrill out of deleting them after 5 hours.”
Thanks for reading! Pls, God, forward on to a friend (optional).
For more Claire, find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Substack! Bye!